A Day in the Life of a (Struggling) Law Student

If God says yes to our prayer, dear heart,
And the sunlight is golden, the sky is blue,
While the smooth road beckons to me and you,
And songbirds are singing as on we go,
Pausing to pick the flowers at our feet,
Stopping to drink of the streams that we meet,
Happy, more happy, our journey will grow,
If God says yes to our prayer, dear heart.

If God says no to our prayer, dear heart,
And the clouds hang heavy and dull and gray;
If the rough rocks hinder and block the way,
While the sharp winds pierce us and sting with cold;
Yet, dear, there is home at the journey’s end,
And these are the trials the Father does send
To draw us as sheep to His Heavenly fold,
If God says no to our prayer, dear heart.

When the frosts are in the valley,
And the mountaintops are gray,
And the choicest blooms are blighted,
And the blossoms die away,
A loving Father whispers,
“This all comes from my hand”;
Blessed are you if you trust
When you cannot understand.

If, after years of toiling,
Your wealth should fly away
And leave your hands all empty,
And your hair is turning gray,
Remember then your Father
Owns all the sea and land;
Blessed are you if you trust
When you cannot understand.

a couple of days back, my issues seemed to be so overwhelming…there was the looming prospect of low (God forbid, even failing…nooooooooo!!!!!!!) finals grades, my lovelife, which is kinda going pffffffftttttttt at the moment, this feeling that i don’t have any particular person in mind whom i could turn to since everyone’s so busy (not that i could blame anyone coz life’s like that). it truly seemed as if my entire life which seems to be at a stand still…i felt like something was horribly wrong, as if i was screwing up my life or something. (worse, there were times that i felt that i was as immature as my 14-year-old self). so i thought, i needed to go to my “place of refuge”…that’s why i decided to go home to UPLB.

going back here, talking to my mom, and friends like kuya elmer & kils (as jok would say, catharsis!) helped bring back some perspective…hearing my churchmates’ prayer concerns about healing for cancer made me realize how petty some of my concerns actually are (especially my angsts over my lovelife issues). and i realized, maybe my life isn’t going so pfffffffffft after all…maybe i truly need to take it easy…to let go and truly just let God…coz in the first place, i wasn’t really meant to carry these burdens of fear of failure and anxiety about my future. in the past few days, i realized that my life probably isn’t that screwed up…or else, whatever issues i may have, certainly, my God is bigger than all of them. my life is in God’s hands, He is in control and i need not worry. so in essence, i just wasted my brain cells on worrying about nothing. and instead of focusing on myself, i ought to just look up…and be sensitive as to how i could be a blessing to others.

anywayz, tomorrow, i’m going back to QC, once more ready to face “the real world”…going back to IILS…gonna do my labor requirement…gonna research and think of ways as to how the company (in my other part-time job) could lawfully save on tax expense…remedy the utilities problem in my boarding house…the same responsibilities still hound me. but at least now, i’m rejuvinated with this new attitude about things, about life. and with this renewed hope, this paradigm shift of sorts, i press on…

why do good girls end up with bad guys?

and conversely, why do good guys end up with bad girls?

can’t the good guys just fall for the good girls? and the good girls just fall for the good guys?

or maybe that would be too much in-breeding?

or may be this is a type of yin and yang that has to take place in this world?

or maybe just one of those Qs that couldn’t be answered for now.

this is not a poem. definitely not one…but rather an…

aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

as in, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

that’s my silent scream. i’m literally letting out one right now as i type.

in shock. in utter disapproval. in sheer protest.

this is where it ends. but i won’t stop screaming…silently…in protest. till it all ends…if it does.

Am reposting this from Noreen’s bulletin board post.
What kind of man are you looking for?(REPOST)

Message:
In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question, “What kind of man are you looking for?”

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking, “Do you really want to know?”

Reluctantly, he said, “Yes.”

She began to expound…

“As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can’t do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man…or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, “What can you bring to the table?”

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought and stated, “I am not referring to money. I need something more.”

“I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life.”

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said, “I am looking for someone who is striving for perfectionmentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple-minded man.”

“I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don’t need to be
unequally yoked… believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster.”

“I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don’t need a financial burden. I
am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.”

“I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive… he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can’t help a man if he can’t help himself.”

When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, “You’re asking a lot.”

She replied, “I’M WORTH A LOT.”

I have a big, big secret
That he must never know.
From him, it is well-kept
I hope it doesn’t show.

I love him, that I know.
I am sure. I am certain.
Yet his heart’s door is locked.
Throught it’s windows, drawn a curtain.

His heart, a veil is masking
So thick, through it I can’t see
That I don’t have an inkling
If another’s there or me.

His secret is well kept.
It’s better kept than mine.
Yet to him, I’ll share my secret
If he tells me his in time.