A Day in the Life of a (Struggling) Law Student

Are you one who thinks there is just one right man?

JANET FOLGER: I think that there is one that He wants for you. I think that we can mess up. People divorce. God hates divorce. People do it all of the time. But I believe that if we are surrendered to Him and we are submitted to Him and we are seeking Him first, then these things are going to be added. It is going to be the person that He has. We can marry Mr. Will Do or Mr. Good Enough, and He can make good from that, but I don’t think it is His best. I want His best, and I honestly think He has a best. If He has every day planned, He knows who that is.

People kept writing in, ‘Make sure you tell them that there is no Mr. Right. There is really not just one.’ I would tell them, ‘I don’t think I believe that.’ So I am surrendered to Him.

And you know what I have also surrendered? ‘God, if you don’t want me to be married.’ It hurts to pray this. It is so painful. If He doesn’t want this, if He is coming back next week, I want to be used by Him in whatever way He has designed for me on this earth. If you surrender that, as hard and as painful as it is to pray it, if you mean it, I believe that if desire that is still there, He is going to grant that desire.

If you had a charge to single men today, what would you say?

JANET FOLGER: There is the feminization of men. They have been wimped-out, portrayed as the idiots in sitcoms and movies for the past ten years. We need to say, ‘Be a man!’ ‘Open the door.’ If some female doesn’t appreciate it, that is a great screening process. You don’t want that kind of girl.

I want the kind of guy that is going to pursue me with passion. I am not going to manipulate anything. I am not going to orchestrate anything. If that is what you have to do to get a guy, I don’t want that kind of guy. I want a leader. I want a spiritual leader. And I haven’t seen too many of them. I want a guy who has a heart after God. If I am going to have to submit, I don’t want to follow somebody who is going the wrong way. If he is going God’s way, then we are going to be fine; if he isn’t committed and sold-out to God, I don’t even want to be on that train.

My message to men is be men after God. God is going to take care of you, too.

On the flip side, what is your charge to single women?

JANET FOLGER: Trust God. Quit watching the clock and waiting by the phone and get in the game. A lot of people would say to me, ‘ I will pray about whether or not I should help protect children.’ You don’t have to pray to be obedient. You can pray, but then act. Put your faith to action because if you are sitting at home, whining about what you don’t have, you are probably not going to get it for a while. It is like the people in Israel. As long as they complain, God is going to keep them in the desert.

You have got to come to the place where you realize that there are things to appreciate about being single. I like that if I am exhausted, I can go home and I can crash. I don’t have to feed a bunch of kids right now. I want to. I am longing to. Don’t get me wrong. But there are cool things about being single.

My mom started ‘Operation Valentine’ to send Valentines to the elderly in nursing homes and hospitals. I was part of giving out some of those Valentines. It is way better than thinking about the Valentines that you didn’t get by giving them to somebody who otherwise would never get them.

Singles are really bad about giving. I can even say that of myself. I don’t know why. I guess we get discouraged. The enemy tells us, ‘You are all alone. Nobody loves you. You can’t possibly do anything right.’ You are getting hit on every side.

JANET FOLGER: That is why. Singles are the most effective, world changing group of people out there. Satan wants you debilitated. He is going to get you into a depression. He is going to get you to think that God has forgotten you. He is going to tell you all those lies. That is his job description. Reality is not your circumstances. It is not your feelings. It is trusting every syllable of the Word of God.

If you look at Shiphrah and Pua [Exodus 1:15-21], it gives me great confidence. They were the midwives. Pharoah was saying that he was going to kill off the Israelites, kill all the male children. The midwives lie about it. They say, ‘The women are vigorous. They give birth before we ever arrive.’ I would be inclined to say, ‘I am going to obey God and not you. I am not going to listen to your stupid little order!’ I would probably have been in jail. They lie. But God’s response was that God blessed them with families of their own because they feared God more than they feared man.

God listened to Leah. God listened to Hannah. And He blessed them with families of their own. God says that He sets the solitary in families. God is the One who said that it isn’t good for man to be alone. This is His design, so we are praying within His will.

I had a friend who came to volunteer for Right to Life. She stuffed envelopes. She didn’t have any hope of meeting anybody there, but she was joining because she felt it was right. She introduced me to two of her friends and I date them both. I am dating like a maniac, having a blast, and her life is bleak. I throw her a going away party. She is moving out of state. A New Jersey guy brings his friend to the party. The reason I dated this New Jersey guy is so that she could meet his friend at the party I threw her. They are now married with five kids. While I was dating and having a blast, she was having a miserable few months. But now she is married with kids, and a decade later I am not. Circumstances are not what they seem. It seemed like things were great for me, and they weren’t. Things looked bleak for her, but they weren’t. Around the corner, her husband was there.

Do you have any last thoughts?

JANET FOLGER: ‘Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised’ [Hebrews 10:35-36]. That includes a husband. If that is the desire of your heart, I believe He is going to give it to you because He is a good God with good gifts and He is the one who said marriage is a good thing.

whaddaya…how d’ya write when you just have so much to write about? these past 2 weeks have been very eventful. starting with…

1. our block’s annual outing to lobo, batangas - this year’s trip was a really nice bonding experience…lots of revelations (of course, can’t reveal them here). here are a couple of the 100+ pictures we took:

(other evidence of our being camera-trigger-happy are among the pix i uploaded in this & in my other account) makes me look forward to spending another vacation outing with my blockmates. actually, i miss ‘em already. kinda makes me have mixed emotions about wanting to go back to school. (i kinda dread the prospect of avena for civ pro…)

2. the waiting game - am referring to 2 things here:

a. for mr right - in this day and age, it’s so tempting to settle for mr right now. and in the light of events like my bestfriend getting married, most of my friends being happily attached to nice people, my closest friends leaving for abroad, i admit, sometimes i do get lonely. when the ranting and the pining start, that’s when the temptation becomes the greatest. but i refuse to trod that path because…(the reason’s too long, i’ll just post the email i got from misha just tonight)

b. gruelling wait for the grades - you’ve done all that you could…slaved hard the entire sem, took your best shot at the exams. now your fate is at the mercies of your prof’s. these past 2 wks have been agonizing in terms of this Q: so am i gonna pass all of my subjects? but i couldn’t do anything about ‘em na, right? to agonize over what i’m gonna get is futile. don’t have such things in my control. like everything else, my grades are in God’s hands. (so far i already know 3: sales, crim pro & torts…PTL, couldn’t believe the results!)

3. 7 lakes tour in SPC - ronald (malcolm schoolmate & family friend. he’s cute, but too bad for me, he’s gay) took me around san pablo city to see all of the 7 lakes. the 1st one we went to was palakpakin .
2nd lake was mohicap.
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3rd & 4th in line were the twin lakes pandin & yambo.

5th, 6th & 7th were bunot, kalibato & sampaloc (too bad no photo ops in these 3 lakes). i’ve known that city for most of my life, yet that was the 1st time for me to have toured ‘em all. it’ll take one an entire day to go to all 7 (in our case, took us 2 afternoons); and weather has to be excellent because the trek to the lakes involves muddy, slippery paths, hills to climb and brooks to ford. our shoes got muddied all over due to the trek. twas raining and occassionally we got lost. but we didn’t really care. the sight of the pristine lakes (despite the fishpens and yes, sadly, there was basura in some cases) was one to behold, a reward after the long muddy trek (i keep on emphasizing long & muddy…haha). tsaka we saw a nice rainbow! and had lots of photo ops! we even took alternate dips in lake pandin, and rafted on lake kalibato. super saya, kahit 2 lang kami! highly recommended!

4. new tech-y toys are fun! (i do know though that they’re not the end all and be all) - a little over 3 months ago, my XDA got stolen. imagine how sad i was…my P48T+ (including all the accessories) just went down the drain! but sobrang blessing, my 2nd part-time job came just in the nick of time. thanks to that racket, was able to buy a nice phone & a nice PDA (and i think my stuff are even better now). enjoy to have ‘em. tuwa ako…not just because of the toys, but moreso because i’m realizing really how good a provider God is…how He gives us the desires of our hearts if & when we seek Him first.

5. speaking of sakuna…kanina, was watching probe on channel 2. the episode was about earthquakes. there’s this prophecy from this visionary nun that a major earthquake that will originate in QC raw will occur in 2005. of course, can’t deny that am quite scared about this. but as the show said, and i concur, preparedness is key - physical (gadgets & what-to-do) & spiritual (prayers! trusting in God despite & inpite of!) preparedness.

6. family ties - blood will always be thicker than water. and of course, kahit na mataray ang sister ko and topak minsan ang mommy ko, love ko sila syempre.
pati extended family ko (aunts & cousins), i super love em. and this sembreak, i’m just blessed to have been able to spend time with my family. don’t really get to do this very much during the sem. tomorrow (rather later), i’m going back to QC na. and the thought of me missing em makes me not want to leave LB. but duty (a.k.a. PVO) calls. and which reminds me, it’s way past 4 a.m. and it’s time i went to sleep na.