A Day in the Life of a (Struggling) Law Student

i have this annual tradition of reflecting on the year that was from a wholistic perspective on new year’s eve.  this year, instead of writing down top learnings in the past year, i chose to write a prayer which integrates learnings and aspirations for the year that is to come.  (see Psalm 50 din pala, if you want, that was what I was reflecting on last night after writing the following prayer)

Dec 31, 2005 (10pm)

Dear Heavenly Father,

I want to thank You and praise You for the year that was.  It wasn’t an easy one for me as I struggled through a lot.  I learned patience and am still learning the art of living by faith the hard way.  Sometimes, I’d stumble and falter…I’d grumble and curse my fate, as I was in the midst of giving up in the face of difficult times.  But You, oh Lord, held me up.  You gave me fortitude of spirit and character in the midst of compromising situations.  You gave me wisdom in the face of crossroads.  You were my joy amidst the loneliness and solitude that surrounded me.  I praise You, oh Lord, for holding me in the palm of Your hand.  Thank You so much for Your daily mercies and faithfulness, for your patient yet stubborn love for me.  and You have gently taught me to be thankful inspite and despite of…for in whatever circumstance I may be in, there was and there will always be You, oh Lord. 

Thank you for the love, encouragement, affirmation and friendship that You have allowed me to experience through my family.  Each one of us may have been scarred in the past, but I know Lord that You are slowly healing the wounds in the hearts of my family members.  I pray for continued closure of such wounds in 2006.  And please enable me to be a more loving and responsible daughter, sister, grand daughter, niece cousin and aunt to my family. 

Thank You for better grades and for legal concepts that You have enabled me to learn in 2005.  I’m sorry, Father, if I have complained a lot of times about the difficulties and not-so-splendid nuances in law school, when I should have been more thankful that You have brought me to the mecca of legal education in the Philippines known as Malcolm Hall.  Instead, I should have pressed on harder, further, knowing that You continue to be my infinite Source of help, wisdom and motivation.  I pray for a better attitude, better absorption of concepts and better grades.  Thank You because I know that You who have brought me this far will see to it that I shall cross the bridges that I ought to, and reach Your promised land.  All the more will I depend on You, Lord, in the last half of my stint in law school and beyond. 

Thank You for Your material blessings.  There were a lot of things that I surely did not expect.  You replaced each loss with blessings worth 10 times more than what I was deprived of possessing.  I praise You because You have provided for more than my daily bread.  Thank You for being so proactive in giving me provisions that You didn’t even allow me to indulge in thoughts of worry about my financial and material status.  Indeed, you always made and will continue to make ways that I can and can’t see.  Father, this year, I pray that you teach how to be a better steward of the resources that You have given me.  That I would use such resources, not just for my own benefit, but to help bless others as well.

Thank You, Father for friends - brothers and sisters - through whom I have felt Your love and concern.  Thank You for allowing our paths to cross and for giving us time to bond and share each others’ joys and burdens.  Father, I pray that in the coming year, You would enable me to be a greater blessing to these people whose lives You have allowed to intertwine with mine.  I pray for more friends and for deeper friendships, as well, with the friends that You have sent my way.

Thank You for fillng in voids in my life the best wy You know how.  Indeed, Lord I owe it all to You because You know me better than I know myself.  You always know what to give me in Your perfct time, wrapped in the best possible package.  Thank You because You always follow through on Your plaans, which are best for me.  Thank You for dealing with me gently as You taught me the virtues of patience and waiting on Your will.  Specifically, Lord, I pray for Your will regarding Mike and this budding friendship &/or relationship between us.  Thank You for how much a blessing and an answered prayer he has been to me.  Yet if it is not Your will, please nip this in the bud.  On the other hand, if it is, please continue to make the paths smooth - devoid of scheming and machinations especially on my part.  Whatever happens, please be with us every step of the way and be glorified through us, oh Lord. 

Father, I pray for passion and direction in all of my pursuits.  I pray that YOu would direct me into ministries (in the church, in school, in the workplace and elsewhere) where You could use the talents, experiences, learnings and abilities that You have given me.  Direct my priorities, Father.  I pray for commitments in the vesper choir, charivari & LCF.  I lay them down at Your feet.  May I never rely on my own strength lest I get burned out.  I especially pray for the following decisions: whether or not I should run for LSG VP, whether or not I should retain my IILS and M2Caash jobs.  Father, I submit these choices before You, knowing that if You respond to my queries in the affirmative, You would grant me successes and richly enable me to accomplish tasks at hand.  Yet if You reply with resounding no’s, help me to just trust Your heart, and be at peace, knowing that it is Your will and not mine which ought to unfold.  In the midst of the whirl of activity, please give times of rest and refreshing when You deem it best to soothe my weary intellect, body, soul and spirit. 

Lord, this coming year, let me be even more attuned to whatever it is You want to reveal to me.  Lead me as You ingrain in my being the art of living by faith.  Teach me to rely on Your word even more.  More than ever now, let me be a woman after Your own heart, after Your own will.  Shape me and mold me, Lord, into the woman You desire me to be.  I know, Lord, that it is only in You that I could truly find the desires of my heart. 

Thank You, Lord, and I look forward to 2006, another year in You.

In Jesus’ wonderful and mighty name, I pray, Amen.

i discovered some of my 6th grade diaries and here are 2 entries that top the list of "my funniest journal entries":

ENTRY # 1:

9-19-91
9:10 p.m.

Dear Diary,

I’ve already packed my things. I decided to run away. My mom (her again) let me lose my privilege (?) of using the phone, spanked me and won’t let me go to the trip! My crush & I will surely miss each other! And worse, I’m at home, doing nothing (I can’t use the phone) while they (including my bestfriends) are having so much fun! See the contrast? And even if I can use the phone, I won’t have anybody to talk to. I’ll certainly die of boredom & a broken heart. Ok. I’m disobedient. So very, very disobedient. but who can understand me here? My mom? My dad? My sister, aunt & helper? Nobody at all. So I have to use the telephone…

(as if naman pag di ako makagamit ng phone, mamatay na ako…)

Entry # 2:

If anyone finds this when I’m already dead, please give them to my parents.

MY LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT

I, Lorybeth Rugay Baldrias, being totally (in)sane, do give these things to the most important and beloved people in my life, namely:

To my father, my pictures, tapes and photo albums
To my mother, my bible and my friends’ secrets
To my sister, Lee-Ann, my clothes and dolls
To my aunts, certificates and awards
To Benjamin, all of my journals and songhits
To my cousin James, all of my gameboards & other toys
To Likha, my report cards, books, notebooks and bags
To Xandra, my accesories (wrong spelling) like belts, headbands, necklaces, watches, bracelets & earings
To Leilani, my study table
To Christine Misajon wherever she is, my bed & pillows
To MaryRose Velmonte & Jemn Gamboa, my bookshelf & glasses respectively
To Psyche, my autographs.

And now, having disposed of my valuable property I hope all will be satisfied and not blame the dead. I forgive everyone and may we all meet during the everlasting life when the trumpets will finally sound. Amen.

To this will and testament I set my hand and seal on this 25th day of November Anni Domino 1991.

signed:

Lorybeth Rugay Baldrias

witnesses:

Likha Cuevas (signed)

Mikel Faigmane (signed)

Before I forget. The last one who signed here will be the one to open my real will.

have you experienced playing a game of monkey-monkey or tag when you were a kid? or perhaps a game of dama or chess? these are games of extremely different nature, since the first two i mentioned are games of physical activity, while the latter two mainly involve mental pursuits. yet there is a common rule among all four games, that which is called: touch-move.

the touch-move rule reminds me of a term called irrevocability. in legal parlance, when something is irrevocable it means you can never take it back. the word you have given has already been the end all and be all. neither could you do or say something contrary to your original pronouncement (we call that estopped - when you are estopped you are precluded from taking back your words or from doing something contrary to an act you have already done). in other words, when something is pronounced irrevocable, it shall remain that way forever and ever. (unless it is a product of a defective agreement or contract). thus the person who gives his irrevocable consent to an act (or ommission) forever waives his right to take it back.

the thought of irrevocability scares and comforts me at the same time for such a concept has its pro’s and con’s.

wouldn’t it be scary if one gives his consent to a contract that he wasn’t able to give full thought to? (kumbaga, parang improvident plea in crimpro). an irrevocable consent given is scary coz one who gives it has no other recourse but to suffer from the consequences of his original decision. he has no other choice but to go along with the words he was able to spew out. since the agreement has become binding (di mo naman masabing vitiated ang consent), it can never be taken back.

on the other hand, to enter into an irrevocable contract is comforting. in my opinion, it offers protection to the party who is sure that he doesn’t ever want out of the agreement. it provides said party a safety net, a comfort zone, from which he can proceed and perform other obligations and create other contracts, some of which are premised on the one originally created.

so what’s my point in this entire discussion? wla lang. siguro dapat talaga nag-iingat sa mga kontratang pinapasukan. lalo na sa mga commitment na pinag-d-decide-an. maging sa mga salitang binibitawan. tipong say only what you mean, what you could truly commit yourself to doing. take care of what could be impliedly construed through your acts and omissions, as well. and consequently, mean every word that you say.

naisip ko ‘to in the light of people around me who seem to have experienced negative consequences as a result of the commitments they plunged into. and i cite the following as examples of irrevocable commitments (you may not agree with me if you deem that marriage, as a commitment is a revocable one):
1. the other night, we had dinner with a couple who are very close family friends. for the very first time, my tita confided their marital problems to me. (isip ko, before they tied the knot, kinilala kaya muna ng tita ko ang tito ko?)
2. yesterday, i had lunch with my best gal pals in my former job. not having met for quite some time, we talked about a lot of things, and some of our conversation topics touched on the topic of marriage. kasi one of us - not me - is beckoning that stage in life anew. what do i mean? baka mag-remarry sya. and the guy naman has commitment issues - nawa, ma-resolve para happy ending. (isip ko, sa first marriage ng friend ko, she wasn’t able to fully take into consideration her compatibility with her ex-husband. ngayon, i hope she takes into account the 2nd guy’s character, not just his potentials)
3. after lunch naman, ate babes, arlyn and ate alms were asking me about annulment and separation of property nitty-gritties. of course, i was glad and more than willing to answer their Qs. after all, na-r-review din ako sa persons & family relations ko. (of course, i gave this disclaimer na bawal akong magbigay ng legal advice coz i’m not yet a lawyer). basically, some of ‘em were having marital disputes and they needed to know what the law had to say on such things (pwede naman yon di ba? parang paralegal churva lang?). (isip ko, lahat ba ng mga kinakasal/sinasakal kaya, naiiisip ba nila ang full implications ng commitments nila? kung ganun, bakit may mga marriages na di nag-w-work-out at hinahanapan na lang ng mga technical defects so they could get out of it? or could it be na talagang merong oversight in such commitments?)

in these cases-in-point, i doubt if these friends of mine ever imagined the sour outcomes of the commitments they plunged themselves into. could it be possible that when those commitments were entered into, consent was given through rose-colored glasses? could it be that they weren’t able to truly reflect on the full implications of their decisions? could it be that they decided only based on emotions? on what seemed to be before them?

the cases i gave are but mere examples of a particular type of irrevocable commitment. i believe they serve as a caveat to me in my own dealings - both on personal and professional levels. in my opinion, no decision is really revocable. with the lapse or passage of time, you can’t just take things or words back. after all, one could never return to the past and undo acts/omissions or un-say what has been said. and even if one could later on say or do something to alter a previous decision, every step already has positive or adverse consequences - consequences that have bearing not just on the life of the ultimate decision-maker, but also on the affairs of those around him. sans, i emphasize the importance of well-thought of choices. i, myself, do not want to decide on things haphazardly. and if in the past, i may have been guilty of such a charge, definitely, i do not want to tread that very same path all over again.

yet how does one strike a balance between decisiveness and impulsiveness? how could one become truly rational while not losing sight of authenticity to emotions? aaaahhh…those indeed are the questions. for devoid of such balance, unless these questions are answered, one would most likely end up experiencing the cons of irrevocability.

i’m just kinda annoyed at myself coz i wasn’t able to do something productive today when i should have. time is ticking and i only have a few days left for the smorgasboard of things that i have to do namely:
1. labor backlog & coverage for the 1st week of class in Jan
2. admin backlog & coverage for the 1st week of class in Jan (darn it, i hate getting sick, i get to accumulate all these backlogs!)
3. civ pro coverage at least for the 1st week of Jan too (at least, no backlog here…but probably i need to refresh myself of all the concepts)
4. credit - read the cases & refresh myself of the loan concepts

plus here are other stuff am thinking about:
1. CLAP - ano na kaya ang nangyayari sa mga external liaisons / marketing kids?
2. there’s a deadline on jan 9…filing of candidacy for LSG…takbo kaya ako?
3. bird flu article for world bulletin - you have got to start on this na, lorybeth!
4. documentation of bar ops org structure (including roles & responsibilities)

tama na ang bakasyon mode ko!!! question is…how do i now snap out of this when the cool holiday air still surrounds me? such a rhetorical Q. grabe, i pray for motivation to work.

christmas day is now official over and i just thought of revisiting my christmas wishlist. now i understand why i was made to wait for certain things…now i know that i was pining for some things which weren’t meant for me after all pala…am amazed with how God answers prayers with His impeccable timing…how He truly is a God of nice surprises, complemented with a sense of humor at that. what am i talking about? scroll down and find out for yourself, my friend…

my christmas wishlist revisited — WITH COMMENTS:

1. a good easy to read book - diversion from the law books — NAKABILI AKO NG 3 FOR MYSELF. KASO DI KO PA NABABASA EH

2. mga multi-colored pens & highlighters. patok to sa kin! — WALA PA NAGBIBIGAY SA KIN NITO…MURA LANG, KAYANG-KAYA NYO! HAHAHA

3. bed sheets na kulay pink or may red para bagay sa carpet ko — PWEDE PANG I-REGALO SA KIN.

4. a pilates video - para i won’t have to go to the gym & i could have my own exercise regimen right at home — WALA PA AKONG GANITO…HINT!HINT!

5. my voice back!!! - i have really sore throat…and i have a solo to sing sa mga charivari performances…pa’no na ang carolling ngayong pasko? — YEAH, I HAVE MY VOICE BACK NOW! KASO PUMIYOK AKO NUNG WEDDING NI MIJ! ARGGGGHHHH!!! TSAKA NUNG CHRISTMAS PARTY NG ROQUE BUTUYAN! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! (PANIRA SA CAREER!)

6. magic sing!!! - mamahalin ko forever ang magbibigay sa kin nito!!! (kaya naman eh, mag-contribute na lang ng P100 each ang lahat ng taong kilala ko, mabibigyan na ako nito!) — MERON NA!!! I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS TO LIVEN UP YOUR PARTIES. DAPAT UPDATED ANG SONG CHIPS NYO, THOUGH…THE SONG CHIPS WILL BE PART OF MY NEXT WISHLIST/MATERIAL GOALS NA.

7. funds to have my hair treated & rebonded (sobrang dry & unruly kasi eh!) — SIGURO DI NA LANG AKO MAGPAPA-REBOND…MAGPAPA-TREAT NA LANG AKO NG HAIR

8. a dvd camcorder - grabe the best! — WELL, MY MOM BOUGHT A SMALL DIGI/VIDEOCAM…PWEDE NA RIN

9. a nice watch - sira na ang watch ko. huhuhu… — NO NEW WATCH. BUT SOMEONE GAVE ME A NICE PEARL BRACELET. :)

10. bean bag!!! or a new sofa — I GUESS THIS REMAINS ON MY WISHLIST

11. boyfriend na super ok…hahaha…(a.k.a. spiritually mature, cute, tall, carries clothes well, musically-inclined, goal-oriented, promise-keeper, people-person, unattached to someone else, with a wholesome sense of humor & leadership skills…kung hindi rin naman ganito, wag na lang…aksaya lang ng panahon) — SURPRISE! SURPRISE!!! WHO WOULD’VE EVER THOUGHT? (coz when i wrote my wishlist, di ko pa na-m-meet si mike)

sa mga nagtatanong/magtatanong kung sino si mike, ito siya (sya yung kasama ko sa picture…dahil nilagay nya ang picture namin sa blog nya, nilagay ko rin picture namin dito sa blog ko…haha!). ma-m-meet nyo rin sya siguro (malamang / i hope) in the coming days as we go along…

come to think of it, am not really sure kung ano ang status…is it an innominate one?…known to some as dating/seeing each other/whatever…one thing’s for sure, it’s not really as complicated as my friendster profile says…heck, it’s not complicated at all…i’ve never had a (budding) relationship/friendship na ganito ka-smooth ang lahat…we’ve been seeing each other for a little over a week now. i admit, medyo parang ang bilis nga ng mga pangyayari…still, we don’t wanna rush anything…for sure, we’ll be taking things one step at a time, trusting God every step of the way. …kagaya nga ng isa sa mga points ng na-getz ko sa sermon ni pastor kevin sa church namin yesterday, i know, i’ll (we’ll) be surprised na lang with how far i (we) could go with God… :)  ang pinaka-hope ko, kung sakali man, sana God wld be glorified dito. 

basta, basta lang, i’m really happy that everything’s going smoothly…ralph likes him (i hope my other friends do too…well they ought to! mandamus ito! i’m sure they will when they get to meet him)…my family finds him nice (esp my sister, ang lakas kaya ni mike sa kanya), some of my relatives say he bears a slight resemblance to my dad…(hmmm…daddy, is that you? hahahaha…). in turn, mike says his mom likes me raw (weird thing daw is his mom daw didn’t really talk to his ex’s (eh hindi naman nya ako ex eh di ba?  hehehe), but we had this brief chitchat in church yesterday), and when he introduced me to his friends, they said daw na i’m a keeper (naks!), plus ang dami naming mga common friends…what’s amazing is, we, mike & i, didn’t really have to exert extra effrort to earn pogi/ganda points in the eyes of our family & friends…we were just being ourselves…kaya nakakatuwa coz everybody likes everybody.

mike is such an answered prayer. in addition to the qualities i put in the aforementioned wishlist, mike also has a sunshiny disposition.  he has a nice business sense, as in i could see that he handles his money well (he has financial targets - like me, he saves up for his tech-y toys).  he’s also somewhat gullible (like me), OC (yet makalat) and corny (kaya he laughs at my jokes! hahaha). he likes singing his heart out in his car too. at marami pa kaming mga trip at mga prinsipyo sa buhay na pareho (di nya lang alam, di lang ako nagsasalita kasi baka masyado syang matuwa pero can relate ako sa karamihan ng mga sinasabi nya…hahaha). he’s the sweetest, funniest (appeals to my corny sense of humor), most caring, appreciative & supportive guy in the world for me….tsaka crush ng bayan pa! hahaha (mr olympic in his UPIS days…hehehe) medyo opposites kami in some aspects, but it’s cool…buti nga yon, diverse interests, much to learn from each other, di ba? tsaka kung ganun, eh di hindi kami mag-c-compete w/ each other.  still, it’s wonderful how we get along because the non-negotiables are present…the important thing is we have the important things in common.

of course, there’s still so much to learn about each other, and i’m excited to embark on this journey of sorts. indeed, i’m more than happy that he’s in my life and i’m even more ecstatic that he feels the same way too — ACTUALLY, ITO ANG HIGHLIGHT NG BLOG ENTRY KONG ITO. HEHEHE…SORRY, SORRY, I KNOW, I KNOW, I’M GUSHING….HAHAHA

12. isang bote ng baileys - sobrang hindi ako tomador (at pinagbabawalan ako ng blockmates kong uminom…ask omar why) pero gusto ko lang nito (who says na iinumin ko sa isang sitting lang?) — WELL, TONIGHT, MAY PARTY KAMI SA APARTMENT WITH ALETH’S FRIENDS. DAPAT MAY BAILEYS!!!

13. reunion with friends!!! highschool friends, college friends…kaso pagod na ako mag-set up! — MET UP WITH RALPH THE OTHER DAY (GOT TO INTRODUCE MIKE TO RALPH & GOT TO MEET RIN WITH MIKE’S FRIENDS), YESTERDAY HAD A FAMILY REUNION WITH MY MOM’S SIDE RELATIVES, TOMORROW LUNCH MTG UP NAMAN WITH P&G BESTFRIENDS, TAPOS TOM NIGHT WITH MY CHILDHOOD PALS

14. a personal ref for my room — PWEDENG-PWEDE PANG I-GIFT SA AKIN!!!

15. aircon na matino for my room din! — ISA PA ‘TO.

16. singing career - alternative to a future law career? hahaha — SALAMAT SA MAGIC SING, BUHAY ANG CAREER!

17. a high grade kay avena, etc (tanging sya lang ang makakapagbigay nito) - OO NA, SIGE NA, MAG-ST-START NA AKO MAG-ARAL TODAY FOR THIS…AFTER THIS BLOG ENTRY. SIGURO 3 SUBJECTS NA LANG MAPAG-AARALAN KO NGAYONG BAKASYON. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE TIME NA NASA PALAWAN SI MIKE.

18. christmas dinner - basta libreng food, ok na sa kin - HINDI LANG DINNER, MAY CHRISTMAS LUNCHES PA!

19. a heart-felt letter (of appreciation, of admiration…haha…feeling!…wala lang, mga tipong dear lorybeth, thank you because…blah-blah-blah…kung wala nito, susulatan ko sarili ko! hahaha) - WALA PA RIN NITO EH…PWEDE PANG HUMABOL FOR CHRISTMAS (OR VALENTINES)

i lifted this from the blog of a blockmate, who in turn lifted this from the blog of a friend of hers. Wala lang, inspiring…i admit, i’m still a hopeless romantic at heart. And though i’ve already accepted this plight of mine (that’s it’s gonna be a long wait, that i either i get married much later than most people or might even end up an old maid), still, i can have my own wishlist, can’t i? and since this is my blog and i control the posts (bwahahahahaha!), i shall re-post this classified ad:

The Classifieds
Good-natured, and morally upright
Emotionally truthful, demonstrative and secure
Wise, decisive and perceptive
Eager to experience new things, or re-experience things in a new light
Kind to animals, to kids and to the environment
Respects children, women, and elders
Relentlessly hope-filled
Committed to God and to a life of love
With a deep personal relationship with God, and with family
Always mindful of one’s own health and well-being
In control of his words, and his silences
Sincere verbally and non-verbally
Open and trusting of one’s past
Passionate over aspirations, and over the attraction to someone special
Steadily improving oneself through learning
Capable of always making people feel special
With enough similarities to be comforting,
with enough differences to be interesting,
With enough mystery to be pleasantly refreshing/surprising.
A reflection of a better version of myself
A complement for the good version that is myself
A reason to be the best version of myself
Promise-keeper

sa mga may gustong magbigay sa kin ng regalo ngayong pasko (meron ba? sana meron!) ito ang mga gusto ko (in no particular order). yung iba dito, non-material things eh, but sinali ko na rin (who knows, meron palang may magic sa mga friends ko…hahaha):

1. a good easy to read book - diversion from the law books
2. mga multi-colored pens & highlighters. patok to sa kin!
3. bed sheets na kulay pink or may red para bagay sa carpet ko
4. a pilates video - para i won’t have to go to the gym & i could have my own exercise regimen right at home
5. my voice back!!! - i have really sore throat…and i have a solo to sing sa mga charivari performances…pa’no na ang carolling ngayong pasko?
6. magic sing!!! - mamahalin ko forever ang magbibigay sa kin nito!!! (kaya naman eh, mag-contribute na lang ng P100 each ang lahat ng taong kilala ko, mabibigyan na ako nito!)
7. funds to have my hair treated & rebonded (sobrang dry & unruly kasi eh!)
8. a dvd camcorder - grabe the best!
9. a nice watch - sira na ang watch ko. huhuhu…
10. bean bag!!! or a new sofa
11. boyfriend na super ok…hahaha…
12. isang bote ng baileys - hindi ako tomador pero gusto ko lang nito (who says na iinumin ko sa isang sitting lang?)
13. reunion with friends!!! highschool friends, college friends…kaso pagod na ako mag-set up!
14. a personal ref for my room
15. aircon na matino for my room din!
16. singing career - alternative to a future law career? hahaha
17. a high grade kay avena (tanging sya lang ang makakapagbigay nito)
18. christmas dinner - basta libreng food, ok na sa kin

to be updated as we go along…

it’s gonna be a long wait i suppose.
but this is one that i really don’t mind.
i might just as well take a walk in the park
help spread some of His light in the dark
take snapshots and memoirs of things that abound
just immerse myself in things that surround
as i cherish the people around me, i will
and bask in God’s love, which He makes me feel
never mind if this period of waiting be long
so what if the end is still far from this point
this bittersweet journey is a pity to forego
to short cut one’s way down this road is a no
there’s still patience & virtues to learn & imbibe.
what is it that’s wrong with taking one’s time?
who says in this race only those who finish first win?
so what now if it seems i get left behind?
what matters is that i’ll be there in time.
and only the best for me, i shall have.
speed is not always what’s most paramount in this life.
so though, this is not me to take the slow lane.
for this thing in store, i could & would wait.
though the waiting be long, i shush my complaints.
i wait. and i’ll wait in anticipation. in hope.
as i do my thing, as i live my life
before long, i won’t notice, this test will be over
the sorrow and loneliness will be forgotten
as joy of a realized dream takes their place.

yes, in time, this marshmallow test of sorts, i will ace.