A Day in the Life of a (Struggling) Law Student

it’s official. i’m running for UP law student government vice president, and am the only unopposed candidate at that. some blockmates / friends say that there’s no need na raw for me to campaign, that i ought to just go through the motions. but still, i don’t want to be too smug and complacent, and being the OC person that i am, syempre, i made na my GPOA, my campaign speech, and concepts for the campaign materials (special thanks to my blockmates for the ideas!). and mike, being the supportive boyfriend that he is, is creating them (of course, super thanks to you, my dear! mwah!). i’m so glad coz that’s a huge load off my back…at least i could now focus more on studying for the upcoming agency, civpro, labor and credit midterms. (all those midterms to hurdle during the campaign/election preps/period).

i’m thinking, ano kayang implications nitong campaign period sa oras that i ought to allot for my part-time job? coz yesterday, rudi called me up and updated me. he says that negotiations with ever and the other accounts are to ensue next week. i asked permission “not to be bothered” muna next week in lieu of civpro midterms (ganun kalaki ang takot ko kay avena!). pero grabe, ok no? ang bait ng boss ko, pwede kong sabihan ng ganun na hindi man lang umaalma. syempre, slave din naman nya ako. but somehow, nakakahiya coz i feel that the output i churn out is not at par with my utmost potential. i guess he already knows about that and understands coz i’m pretty transparent naman with him when it comes to my academic load and political pursuits (even lovelife nga eh!). kaso di ko pa napapaalam yung tungkol sa campaign period eh. knowing me, malamang what would happen na naman here is that i’d stretch myself too thinly, sobrang puyat para mag-aral coz in the day, i probably wouldn’t be able to allot that much time for it coz of the campaign and the negotiations sa work. tapos there’s CLAP pa. in the coming weeks, mag-st-start na ang work ng committee ko (logistics). but of course, these are short-term concerns.

on a more long-term note, i’m thinking too (actually, matagal ko na ‘tong naisip but it’s just now that i’m putting the thoughts into words), if i win, ano kayang implications nito sa acads ko? they say that 3rd yr of law school is the most difficult pa man din daw. pa’no kayang time management and delegation ang dapat kong gawin? how much more smart(er) do i have to study/work kaya? relationships-wise kaya, what implications would winning have? makita ko pa kaya ang pamilya ko? and pa’no kaya ngayon, i have a new relationship? syempre, i’d want to spend time with him…build a foundation. thank God, mike’s not really demanding…he’s very understanding, very accomodating. basta wag lang daw ako makakalimot. but it’s just me. i wanna give him time that’s due him & spend time with him din, of course. (therefore, habang nag-b-bar ops, andun sya…hahaha! joke. syempre, he’s not compelled. kung type lang nya akong samahan)

am i worrying needlessly ba ngayon? well, di naman siguro ako nag-wo-worry. it’s more of, i’m anticipating the possible issues and difficulties along the way and am thinking and praying about ways as to how to address them. kumbaga, this is an attempt to preempt them and battle them even before they come along. coz they’re medyo inevitable naman di ba? cguro, i need to manage my time better (hence less friendster blog posts…hehehe). tsaka kailangan, i won’t lose sight of my priorities along the way. or else i might get lost in the swirl of activity na naman, and compromise the things/people that matter most to me…yikes! God forbid that happens!

so back to the present time, ano ang dapat kong gawin ngayon? amidst the multiple priorities that i have, i need to focus. focus that before being an LSG vice-presidential candidate (or full-pledged VP kungsakaling palarin), i am a law student. before i am a law student, i’m a family member and friend (or girlfriend…that’s also a special specie of friendship, right?) and before i am all these, i am a christian. ergo, di dapat talaga mawala ang focus ko kay God. it’s because of Him that i’m doing all this. (actually, it’s more of, He’s doing all of these things through me..i’m merely His instrument, kaya i should always turn to Him for empowerment coz w/o Him, i cld do nothing tlaga. in legal parlance, i’m His agent, and He’s my principal). yung trabaho ko, that’s a support to enable me to study with less (or no) financial concerns. as for relationships, i’ve always placed a premium on my relationships with people, rather than on tasks that i do. yung relationships ko - friends, family, boyfriend, para sa kin, bigay sila ni God to enable me to enjoy this life He has blessed me with. through them ko nararamdaman ang love Nya. just as He empowers me to do what i have to do with their help too (syempre coz no man’s an island, and i’m not an omnipotent superwoman). just as i help them din naman in what they ought to do. (pangit naman kung one-way street, di ba?) kumbaga, kasama silang lumakad patungo sa landas na nararapat tahakin (deep tagalog!)…as we work towards similar purposes/visions. i believe, there’s a reason, why pinagtagpo-tagpo ang mga landas namin. and those purposes, we’ll find out along the way. tsaka delikado pag sila ang naging mundo ko. baka masakal o maasar at mawala pa, di ba? (wag naman, masaya na ako ngayon eh! tsaka syempre may mga buhay din naman sila, i don’t control them). kaya dapat, balanse ang time for everything. para hindi naman maging lopsided ang life ko, di ba?

and speaking of focus, i better get back to what i’m supposed to do. aral na ako ulit for agency. kasi may dinner pa kami ni mike to go to later. till next blog entry!

MORE ABOUT THE PHOTO CAPTION

date: monday, january 9, 2006
time: 7:59pm
place: SM North Edsa parking lot (not really the best place for romantic moments but it’ll do!)

…he told me na gusto raw nya maging kami, that he wanted to make it official. he asked if i’d be willing to be his girlfriend. i looked at him, as if trying to assess his truthfulness (pumasa naman sa lie detector test ko). i asked him, “are you asking me because you think this is what i wanna hear? or are you asking me because this is what you really want? because if you’re asking me because you think this is what i wanna hear, then i don’t want this.” (whew! that was a long one!) he held my hand and replied, “this is what i really want.” i looked into his eyes and asked, “uhm…could you give me an hour?” (hahahahaha!) “so, you think, this is a good date?” he asked, to which i replied, “why, is there a bad date?” (hehe…pilosopo). he said, “i don’t want to pressure you.” i nodded but replied and told him, in a hushed voice, for the first time, “i love you too.” (may “too” kasi nung friday pa nya ako sinasabihan nun) he said, “talaga? you love me din? so it’s official?” “yes…” i replied…and we hugged…and that’s how the photo caption came about. (i give credit to my dear kasi sya nakaisip nun…hehehe)…and the rest shall now be history.

i know, this seems like a script of a romantic comedy. but this is real life, where mike and i are the actors. and God, the ultimate Director/Scriptwriter/Producer/soundtrack & technical effects Dude. who would’ve ever thought all this would happen last month, that time when i came to the point of surrender - surrendering the struggle of waiting for the man who’s God’s will for me? who would have thought that in my bestfriend’s wedding, wherein i was the bridesmaid, i would be meeting this sweet, funny and simply wonderful man, who was trying to dabble with wedding photography in his friend’s wedding? certainly not me. and certainly not mike, either, who was unknown to me, undergoing the same issues and phase in life. certainly, we did not know. but our God works both in ways that we can and we can’t see…He is a God of wonderful surprises. truly, He ought to be praised! as mike said in his blog (where he “announced” that we are now officially a couple - just as i’m doing now…hehe), “thanks for the answered prayers. thanks for the patience. thanks for everything. thank you Lord!” indeed, THANK YOU LORD!!!

mike & i may have been scarred in the past…but from those hurts, falls, blows, and boo-boo’s, God allowed us to learn a lot of lessons along the way - learnings that we shall now be applying to this relationship. perhaps He was merely molding us so that when our paths finally cross, we would be ready…and such paths would be smooth as one affirmation would just follow another (just as what has been happening). perhaps He was merely trying to show us what was on the other end of the spectrum so that when the destined time comes, we would just be truly thankful and stunned as to how amazingly crafted the plot was… we may not know what’s in store, but we shall cling to God and to each other as we take each new step in travelling life’s road…now together, as we continue to play our roles in this romantic comedy about us.

——————–
luv u too, mike!

currently in seattle’s best, tektite na ginagawa kong library. just got out of an M2Cash business planning meeting with boss rudi, manny fong (sm supermarket ceo), wendell ty (sm supermarket gm for operations), joel monasterial & tina capuno (e-com itac big bosses)…rubbing elbows with these bigwigs! hehehe. pero syempre, after that, back to law student mode ako, nilabas ko na ang mga baon kong admin outline & digests. buti na lang yung mga cases ko sa admin nasa pc ko (yup, nag-a-attempt pa akong magbasa ng cases in the original), that way hindi bulky.

anyway, that’s not really the point why i’m writing in here. kanina, sa meeting, napaisip ako. at ito ang mga thoughts ko (stream of consciousness writing daw ba): it seems kasi na ang daming opportunities na pwede. yung potential salary nga ng taong mag-r-report sa kin nasa 50-60K eh! but of course, full time yon, eh ako, part-time lang naman kaya i don’t question the disparity between what i’m getting & the aforesaid amount.

napag-isip-isip ko lang and i discussed some possibilities kanina with rudi…what if mag-evening class kaya ako? kahit kapantay ko ng salary ang subordinate ko, ok na. ang work hours ko 9-4 mondays to fridays. tapos law school sa gabi at saturdays. (pag nasa ortigas rin ako, maybe mike & i cld have lunch more often). at pwede kong i-negotiate na magkaroon ng car loan. syempre, business contacts din…imagine, ngayon pa nga lang, rubbing elbows with those tycoons! tsaka i feel very flattered na parang ang laki ng tiwala nila sa kin (siguro kasi in a way, they’ve seen me grow?) tapos when the robinsons deal gets closed, rubbing elbows naman with the gokongwei’s! di ba, ang sosyal? hehe.

yun nga lang, i would have to give up a couple of things:

1. my IILS job - di ko rin naman ganun ka-love…sorry, but that’s the truth. i admit, it’s something na pang-augment lang ng resume, in case gustuhin ko man mag-LLM in the future (para may edge naman ako, eh di ko naman maipagmamalaki na nasa top-top ako ng batch ko in UP law, might as well create my own competitive advantage). kaso, nr-realize ko ngayon, parang di rin naman yata yun ang path na gusto kong i-tread. sure, i wanna be an expert in something. but making publications is such a tasking drudgery for me. hindi ko feel na strength ko yon eh. at hindi ko rin ganun ka-feel ang mga RTD. although, syempre, ma-mi-miss ko ang mga tao kasi mababait sila sa kin (sina ate au, ate leny, ate linda, kuya fitz, kuya mars, marnie, jason, etc)

kanina nga sa peptalk namin ni rudi (coz i was asking for advice re: what to do), he told me na even from the start, he saw that my strengths like in: business planning, account penetration (wag kang bastos! this basically pertains to people skills) and problem-solving. parang kung IILS-LLM, etc yung career path na piliin ko, di ko ma-e-exercise yon eh. eh syempre, if one doesn’t get to use his/her talents, the talents get pretty rusty. versus if i take the corporate law-chief legal counsel/CFO-CEO-own business/cabinet appointee (i can dream, can’t i?) career path, baka mas okay pa.

2. my other orgs in law school - huhuhu…much as i love to work for all pa rin, i need to let go of 3. syempre, pa-attend-attend pa rin ng LCF kung pasok sa sked. assuming arguendo i’d run & win, LSG na lang ang ma-r-retain sa priorities ko. iniisip ko tuloy, kung ganun, tama ba na VP ang takbuhan? o dapat treasurer?

3. my blockmates - syempre, i’d miss them. i’d miss them all. especially yung mga naging super ka-close ko (former housemates & friends, grp 2 grpmates, admin grpmates). but then again, who says friendships will end if i move to the evening class? si jok din naman may evening classes eh. maybe magiging magk-klase kami. and pag nag-electives na, halo-halo na rin naman ang composition ng lahat ng classes. tsaka advantage din naman nun, i’d have more friends.

4. my 4yr tenure - syempre if i go to evening class, it’ll take me 5yrs instead of 4 to finish law school. before kasi, i was in such a hurry…i wanted to finish early kasi sabi ko, right after law school, mag-aasawa na ako. hahahaha! but who says i have to be in a hurry? di ba? do i have to be? kaya pa naman siguro i-accomodate ng biological clock di ba? tsaka kelangan ko ba talagang makisabay sa iba? tsaka siguro naman yung guy, makakapag-intay, di ba? (wala lang, gusto ko lang kasi when i get my law degree or pass the bar, yung family name na baldrias ang nasa certificate / lalabas sa newspapers…or basta, bahala na si God dito sa aspect na ito).

syempre, pinag-iisipan ko pa kung ano ba ang dapat kong gawin…pinagdadasal. humihingi/hihingi rin ako ng advice sa mga tao. gusto ng maraming perspectives. baka may ma-miss ako eh. although medyo matagal-tagal ko na rin namang pinag-pr-pray kung ano ba talaga ang dapat kong gawin. kasi syempre, in addition to these career planning decisions & roles that i wanna play, there are also other aspects of my life na gusto kong bigyan ng space. like what if in the future, i get married and have a family na, syempre i wanna be a good wife & mother naman di ba? and such roles would require that i have time for the family, di ba? yoko namang mag-manage ng household by remote control…or via a pseudo principal-agent relationship (ako, principal tapos household help yung agent). syempre gusto ko maging super mom…idol ko naman ang mom ko and i want to give her credit for how she brought me up by emulating her good qualities (syempre, wag na yung bad…hahaha, buti na lang, walang friendster account si mommy. haha!). pero marami pa akong kailangang matutunan eh…lalo na ngayon, these days, napapamukha talaga sa kin how undomesticated i am… nakakahiya nga eh.

anyway, definitely, these are matters to sleep on…sana if you get to read my blog, pag-pray nyo rin ako re: these decisions, ha?

(p.s. darn it, naubos na wi-fi card, ang mahal-mahal tapos ang bilis-bilis maubos!…i guess this just means, kelangan ko na mag-aral ulit. i should hold this post na lang & upload later when i get home.)

valuable lesson learned today: learn to trust your instincts.

1. sabi na nga ba eh, ang lakas ng kutob ko kanina na walang labor. kaya pala ako super tamad na tamad pumasok…at hindi lang yon, walang civpro. kaya pala hindi ako pressured mag-aral. but, being the do-gooder that i perceive myself to be, pumasok pa rin ako. at nag-aral. sayang, i should’ve slept na lang the entire day or stayed a little bit more longer in LB. grrrrrr

2. ang yabang ng isang tao!!! grrrrrabe…kaya pala tama ang choice ko dati na i-subject pa sya sa kung anu-anong tests. (that’s what i call constructive busted. an indirect way of saying no to a guy’s advances). alam ko namang di rin sya tatagal. …kaya daw dating someone just to show him na i could do without him!!! the hell!!! what the hell’s he thinking? i didn’t even like him!!! what with his staple mushy lines which came from movies and which he has been using on several girls!!! dapat pala never ko nang binigyan ng chance yung makapal na mukhang yon. at tama rin pala ang instincts ng friends ko. no one liked him for me (just as no one really thought that ex # 1/2/3 and me were matches made in heaven)

*too bad the dude’s not a friend of this friendster account, he’s a friend of my other friendster account…he should read this and realize that i’m talking about him here!
**wag lang nya akong masira-siraan. i don’t care if he has pedigree. i know i’ve lots of friends to back me up.
***buti na lang, mike’s phone call was pretty effective in calming me down. pasalamat yung mayabang na lalakeng yon!

3. sana tama rin ang kutob ko na di pa papasok si jude (our admin prof) tomorrow. pero sige na nga, to be on the safe side, i’ll study admin na lang.

4. sana tama rin ang kutob ko na…(hihihi, yoko muna isulat para may element of suspense…hahahahaha!)

but enough with this “trusting one’s instincts” cases in point. aral mode na again.

i’m back in QC! at aral-aral na naman for me. CHED declared na jan 3/4 pa ang class. pero syempre, iba sa UP law.

mike’ll be back from palawan din tomorrow. he says he had this really turbulent ferry ride from the island to coron. am really thankful that he’s safe. but we won’t be seeing each other till wednesday. work from home and family time raw muna sya.

anyways, so i’m back to the real world. kaya kahit na marami pa akong sasabihin, i shall cut this short muna. civpro awaits me. and so does labor (although i am sooo tempted to cut…kaso nakaka-3 cuts na ako eh…and if i cut tomorrow, that wouldn’t be tantamount to starting the yr right, wld it?)

so this is it, pansit…at least for now. lobit out.

p.s. may mga in-”unpost” akong blog entries…hahaha…