A Day in the Life of a (Struggling) Law Student

this is the life…walang civpro! i finalized the dropping requirements na yesterday and to celebrate everything (getting elected VP, becoming a Portian, and no civpro), i decided to treat myself out to a movie. so i watched brokeback mountain with len and sanne (two other blockmates who decided they wanted to have a life with less stress and dropped civpro).

this afternoon, i was chatting with my boyfriend (who didn’t want to watch it with me). i was telling him about the movie (trying to gross him out…bwahahahahaha!). here’s part of the chat transcript which incorporates some insights about brokeback mountain:

mekol: so how was it?
cpabaldrias: di naman nakakadiri eh, dear. really. i’ve seen other gay movies the ones which really freaked me out.
cpabaldrias: para nga silang friends lang. who’d see each other every once in a while. on “fishing trips” but they never caught any fish.
cpabaldrias: nagkapamilya pa nga sila eh. gaganda ng mga asawa. anne hathaway ba naman and michelle williams.
cpabaldrias: it’s just that they fell in love with each other.
cpabaldrias: siguro, looking at it in another light, they were just the best of friends talaga. kaso naging sordid lang because they were horny in brokeback and there was no other person to do it with.
mekol: sige na nga
cpabaldrias: tingin ko, they were just confused. kakaawa nga eh.
cpabaldrias: actually, naawa ako sa kanila. because of that “disfunctionality”, they couldn’t really be decisive about their decisions in life.
cpabaldrias: the other one had a failed marriage and another failed relationship.
mekol: actually parang na gets ko na nga ang story kaka kwento ni jit
cpabaldrias: the other one naman had a marriage that was okay on the surface but was really hollow naman pala
mekol: diba nga nahuli yung isa ng asawa nya
cpabaldrias: yeah. di kasi nakapag-intay eh!
cpabaldrias: pwede namang magtago muna sila bago maghalikan. walang ka-self-control self-control
mekol: tapos the other kept the clothes right
cpabaldrias: yes. na na-discover nung isa when that one died
cpabaldrias: so kinuha nya rin yung clothes at tinago nya. that one’s pathetic. he didn’t really have a life, and he’ll forever be trapped in the memory of brokeback. di na naka-move on
mekol: so who’s who? sino ang namatay?
cpabaldrias: namatay si jake twist. yung hubby ni anne hathaway. the other one is annis dela mar, he’s the real life fiancee’ din pala of michelle williams (di ko alam kung ano names nila in real life)
mekol: aaahh
cpabaldrias: so, based on the kwento, wachathink, dearie?
mekol: its a love story
mekol: but male to male
mekol: hehehe
cpabaldrias: yeah, yeah
cpabaldrias: di naman kadiri di ba?
mekol: hindi naman
mekol: im sure naman na may story
mekol: its just the way na sinabi ni jit
mekol: eewww
cpabaldrias: actually, wala rin. for me, it’s just a slice-of-life thingie.
cpabaldrias: well, the love scenes were kinda rough.
cpabaldrias: it seemed strange to len and me that they just grabbed each other and there they went…humping it all away. wala man lang foreplay
cpabaldrias: the first time they did it, they didn’t even kiss each other
mekol: hahha
cpabaldrias: tapos after they’d do it, pinapakita pa na they’d cuddle and talk about their lives
mekol: whew
mekol: hihihi
cpabaldrias: actually, if not for those things, if not for sex, it seemed like a normal friendship lang
mekol: may cuddling cuddling pa ha
cpabaldrias: oo
cpabaldrias: parang totoo

eventful day…grabe. here are some of the things that happened:

1. i decided to DROP civpro. yup, final answer na. kanina, i filled out na the dropping form, with my friend & blockmate, len. when we were about to have it signed kay ma’am avena, guess what happened…

2. ma’am avena FELL DOWN the stairs. yup, totoo. nagkagalos tuloy sya sa legs, so huge that they even had to stitch the wounds up in infirmary. sayang, maganda pa man din legs nya (uyyy ha, hindi ako tibo. unlike…). naisip ko nga, naku, is this a sign ba or what? baka ayaw kaming ipag-drop ni len…hahaha. but nah, maluwag na rin naman sa kalooban ko ang consequences nitong pag-dr-drop na ito. anyways, going back to ma’am avena, dinalhan pa namin sya ng crinkles from our block sa infirmary. tuwa naman ako that she appreciated the gesture. some of our blockmates said wag na lang daw dalhin kasi parang sucking up to her eh. but i didn’t care. what do i care? i’m dropping anyway.

3. parang HULOG ng langit, lumabas na ang property grades namin today. for the first time, barry failed no one. i got a 2.25. ok na rin. actually, surprisingly, taas ng grades ko last sem compared to the past sems. kala ko pa man din mahirap na sem yon. lowest grade ko yon actually, along with insurance and crim pro. sayang kasi di talaga ako magaling sa written exams. i only got a 2.75 sa finals eh 60% pa man din yon ng grade. kung na-maintain ko lang sana ang recit standing ko, where i got a 1.5-1.75. kelan kaya ako gagaling sa written exams? baka i should enroll in some legal writing clinic.

4. at mas malaking HULOG ng langit…my relationship with mike. one month na kami tomorrow!!! this has been the happiest, giddiest month (actually 2 months coz it all started when we met) of my life thus far. i’m really thankful for him. i love the way he loves me and takes care of me. (in fairness, i try my best to take care of him in my own way too) everyday, i find out something new about him that makes me love him more. i’m looking forward to more days, months, years with him…God willing. syempre hirap naman to play God and say na “yeah, for sure, we’ll end up na talaga with each other”. pero sana, di ba? rly do hope this ish it na. happy ako kasi aside from the two of us na masaya with each other, other people are also saying na bagay raw kami. sabi nila, nagkakamukha na raw kami. huh? can’t see the resemblance as of now but ok lang. sa paningin ko naman, my dearest is the cutest guy in the world (ok, i’ll stop na, i know you’ll find me getting mushier & mushier by the minute)

5. last na. speaking of fall, grabe, BAGSAK ako sa pagod today. we campaigned in 3 blocks, sunod-sunod. non-stop talking with the spiel, “i’m lorybeth baldrias from 2B, i’m running for VP because i’m willing. willing to be subject to the stresses of handling the bar ops once more, this time a notch higher than before. willing to be the slave of the bar reviewees. willing to be your slave. i’m running, as well, because i believe i’m capable. i won’t tell you na my accomplishments, work experience and co-curricular involvement because they’re all here in my brochure. i hope you’ll read it more so you’ll know why you GOTTA LOBIT. but for now i just wanna walk you through my GPOA. basically the job of a VP consists of…blah, blah, blah….thank you so much, come feb 16, please don’t vote for abstain. for the sake of the bar operations, you GOTTA LOBIT, because in law, every bit counts.”

ganito pala ang campaign period sa UP law. i mean, i’ve been through an election campaign na rin before but this is more tiring. dati naman kasi, walang room to room when i ran for JPIA president nung undergrad. tsaka dati, kilala ka ng mga tao kasi isang org lang kayo eh. dito, a candidate really has to make one’s self known. i admit, mas masakit yung mga intriga dati. although ngayon, meron pa ring mga things na na-bl-blow out of proportion, esp kapag di talaga kayo nagkakausap straight out, kapag nagpapaniwala lang sa mga hearsay. kaya na-realize ko, dapat talaga, if you have an issue with someone, kausapin mo in person. wag nang patagalin pa. and i’m glad i did just that sa mga ibang tao. syempre, ang sad dito, lahat ng bagay, kahit things done in seeming good faith, nakukulayan ng pulitika. sorry na lang ang mga gaya kong may naivete talagang taglay. kaya kung may mga nasaktan man sa isang bagay na nagawa ko, paumanhin. sorry. sana magka-usap-usap kami nung mga taong yon nang matino soon. at sana ma-realize nila na kahit na yeah, it was mighty naive of me, there was no bad faith on my part at ginawan kaagad ng paraan nung napa-realize sa kin ang implication nung bagay na yon. ang cryptic ba? i know kung mababasa ito ng mga taong nakakaunawa, getz na nila ito. haaaay, i really want this campaign period to be over na. naapektuhan ang mga friendships eh. para pa man din sa kin, sobrang important ng friendship. (di ba obvious, dami kong friends sa friendster? hehe). tsaka totoo palang hirap mag-concentrate sa acads pag ganito.

at ngayon, speaking of acads, para naman hindi ako BUMAGSAK sa IPL at partnership, parang kelangan ko na yata mag-aral. after mike’s phone call (w/c i’m awaiting) & some rest siguro (coz i’m so damn tired). so there. this ish it for now!

to drop or not to drop?
that is the question.
whether tis nobler in mind to suffer
the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
or to take arms against a sea of troubles
and by opposing, end them…

yep, i think those shakespearean verses from hamlet are applicable to this civpro brouhaha. imagine this. i’ve been studying really hard for this 5-unit subject in particular, much to the detriment of my other subjects even. don’t get me wrong, not that i resent the subject or find it boring at the least. call me nerdy, geeky and all but i do like that subject. question is, does it like me back? or better yet, does the prof like me back? (yeah, yeah, tibo raw sya but will my charms actually work on her?).

waaaah…i’m getting burned out na (puro kasi midterms! kasabay pa ang campaign period). and i’m starting to ask myself, is this truly worth all the stress? (kasi, kasalanan ko rin naman, nag-overload pa ako this sem, with a 2-unit elective on intellectual property law…so 19 units ako ngayon). i feel that i put in too much effort tapos, low ROI (return on investment) naman…huhuhu…

so what if i do drop civpro? what are the cons?
1. i won’t get to finish law school in 4 years anymore (hurt pride. i’m not as smart as i/people thought i was pala…but kebs ba nila di ba? eh sa mahirap talaga eh. at oo na sige, i’m no legal genius. i’m just your everyday average UP law student)
2. or if i do decide that i wanna finish it in 4 years still, i’d be subjecting myself to too much stress in the coming sems (and summers too) by overloading (and i repeat, i don’t want this much mental stress…waaaah!!!)
3. what if i have a fighting chance naman pala of passing? sayang naman di ba kung di ko pa i-”sugal”? what am i so afraid of? i had an okay recit…although my midterms wasn’t really that spectacular. they say she doesn’t really check the midterms, and that she’s a finalist (pero moreso nga ako dapat matakot, di ba?)
4. i’ve never really dropped a core subject before (although, way back in undergrad, i do remember dropping my camping PE and this stupid english elective which i had no idea why i took). in other words, medyo hurt ang ego ko. (but to hell with ego, right? when survival is more important)
5. mas matatagalan pa before i tie the knot (but who says the timing for this is dependent on my graduation?)
6. if i drop it this sem, next year when i take it, it will still be under her anyways (no prob, she’s a good teacher, and i learn a lot from her. although, i’m not sure if the learning will actually reflect on the grades)

and what naman are the pro’s?
1. if i get delayed, so what if i spend one more year in malcolm hall? what’s so bad about it if…
a. i could review for the bar twice?
b. i could sit in sa consti 1 classes?
c. i could try out for the moot court?
d. i could run for other positions? (e.g. suggestment ni gilbert, student regent raw…yeah right! parang kumuha ako ng batong pinukpok sa ulo ko!)
2. less stress! i could enjoy law school more! (yeah right, like it’s enjoyable…but in fairness, learning about the law in the right doses is indeed enjoyable…yeah, yeah, i’m such a nerd)
3. again, who says the timing for my tying the knot is dependent on graduation? subject to the wishes of the future groom, i could get married on the last sem of law school anyways.
4. next time i take it again, mas alam ko na ang approach. i’d be able to understand and imbibe it better too. (at para mas maganda, sasabayan ko pa rin sila at makiki-aral pa rin ako…with less stress na this time. i think that’s the point.)
5. i’d have more time to study for my other subjects.
6. i could pay attention to my part-time job.
7. i could enjoy life more - a.k.a. makita ko naman ang pamilya ko nang mas madalas, enjoy more quality time with mike, time for extra-curricular & other rackets & hobbies (para naman di masyadong umiikot sa law school ang mundo ko, di ba?)

haaay, still the query exists. to drop or not to drop? yes, i think that’s the question that will linger in my mind till feb 20 - this sem’s deadline for dropping. mga friends, pls help pray for me, that i may be able to make the right decision.